Thursday, August 18, 2011

Where is the love?

"Lord teach Your children, to stop the fighting, start uniting all as one.  Let's get together, loving forever..."
- Sanctuary


I always feel that all I do is complain when I write, but at least I'm being real, and that's what truly matter...right? Dear reader please know that my blogs will start to become less negative once football season is officially here (Thank God for that).

Please know that I care for you, all of you, my friends, deeply, however if I seem distracted, depressed, not myself, or just like not talking, it's nothing you did, it's something I'm trying to work through.  I've recently found out about a situation that indirectly involves me, but has deeply troubled me.  I know it's during this time that I should rely on God, and yes I KNOW I should, but it's just so difficult.  I suddenly feel like I've hit a wall.  I see him through the window shouting words of encouragement to me in the form of my friends and my daily Bible reading, but for some reason I can't open the door/window.  I WANT TO SO BAD, but something keeps pulling me back.  The worst part is I'm not even sure how I want this situation to play out.

On the plus side of things (when I'm not upset about said family situation) I've made it a goal to read a chapter of the Bible every night before I go to bed thanks to the help of AFC small groups and our special guests Becca and Teri.  Every night between 10pm-12am Becca texts me when she does her reading so that I can remember to do mine.  I in turn text Courtney, who texts Paige.  My lovely roommate Sam does something similar with Justin.  We're starting a trend and holding each other accountable so that we can grow as Christians.  So far I've read James, Jude, and I'll be finishing 1 John this week.  I think I'm going to go Old Testament next.

Ugh I just wish I could escape for a little bit so I could figure things out, but such is life.  Also, when I'm ready to talk, I will, until then just understand I need your prayers.

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