I Need A Break...and not a KitKat

"All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, worn out faces

Bright and early for their daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere"

- Gary Jules, Mad World

*Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with any one particular incident, it is something I've thought about for some time now.

Sometimes I don't understand how such a nice person can be kicked so many times.  I honestly try to be strong, to stand up after the fall, but then there are other times when I'm too tired to fight, too tired to try.  I just want everyone else to be happy so I put myself in the back of my mind...again to be kicked around.

I don't do it to hurt myself, at least not on purpose.

God commands us to love one another, to help each other and that's how I try to live my life.  Believe me I know I'm not perfect, but I try to do what is right in God's eyes.  People keep telling me I'm a good person, even though I can be a pushover, but what can I say I love to help others.  But my question is why do I do this so much and so often that sometimes I just feel crappy?  

When I do spend a day having fun, something for myself (but not completely) something always comes that tears me down.  I guess I just spread myself too thin sometimes.  I keep telling myself its something that I need to work on, but I never change anything.

I really am yearning my annual trip to Mexico this year (even though it's not going to happen due to family reasons, which I'm excited for) because I know it's the one time a year when I can just get away from it all.  No work, school, technology, distractions, no stress.  Just me and 80+ other people working for God, spreading his love.  Why can't everyday be like Mexico?  Why have we become so dependent on all of these other things?  Why must they control our lives?

I'm spending the next 12 hours or so in my own little piece of Mexico.  After I put this post up I'm signing off my computer until some time tomorrow and my phone will be off.  I going to try my best to get away from distractions and just enjoy myself, get some me time.  I can't wait to see what Final Weeks brings, but for now I just want to relax and not have to worry about anything or anyone. 

I will not spread myself thin tonight.

Wordless Wednesday Epicness!

Short and Sweet

I'm sorry I haven't been posting much recently.  I had a friend in town a couple of weeks ago, and school, and work...you know the stuff.  Finals are next week so I'm working on getting everything done for me to GRADUATE!  I'll do a wordless Wednesday tomorrow that will be jamming and please enjoy a new song that is growing on me :)

A Lesson From the Beatitudes

"3Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

5Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

7Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.  

9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

- Matthew 5: 3-10 (NIV)

Tonight at the Ambassadors For Christ girls small groups, something was mentioned (I don't remember what exactly) that made me remember a sermon my preacher from Live Oak shared over Spring Break while I was home.

Rev. Tim Carver (Live Oak First Advent Christian Church) spoke about Jesus and the Beatitudes from the Sermon on the Mount here are my notes, which I think you might enjoy:

We often times keep drifting in our spiritual life, when we should be sick of sin, which we don't want to play in it again.  When you fall, God keeps you from hitting the absolute lowest.  In the church today, you should be able to take the word of a Christian, but it's not a sure thing anymore.  It should be as sure as a lie detector test.  We often don't think about the bad in life, but how many times have you hit rock bottom?  Do you know what it means to hit rock bottom spiritually?

To fully understand what Jesus was saying in the Sermon on the Mount on how we should strive to gain access to heaven and really believe what he was teaching, try reading the beatitudes backwards:

10You want the kingdom of heaven, prepare to be persecuted.

9You want to be called sons of God, be peacemakers.

8If you want to see God, have a pure heart

7If you want to be shown mercy, be merciful.

6To be filled, learn to hunger and thirst for righteousness.

5To inherit the earth, you should be meek.

4To be comforted you need to mourn.

3To have the kingdom of heaven, be like Jesus, poor in spirit.

Tim closed the sermon saying "It's about having the character of Christ.  he taught with authority, the son of God, he lived his life fully God and fully human."

My notes from this sermon help remind me that this is how I should be approaching life.  I should be willing to be persecuted for God, to be a peacemaker in His name.  I need to show people a pure heart, to be merciful, I should thirst and hunger for His righteousness in all I do, everyday.  To be meek, mourn and be poor in spirit will magnify Him so that I may one day see the kingdom of heaven.  Sometimes you just need to look a verse or section or chapter in the Bible and read it differently to grasp the concept portrayed in a new way.

"But I hope for the best, I have to."-Nigel, The Devil Wears Prada